Blog

Posted on

Falling/failing

My son, Kori opened a Bouldering facility ( indoor rock climbing with crash pads and only climbing up to 15’). He hired a marketing group and they ran with ads, Falling for Climbing “. Kori’s bouldering facility, called “ The Hive” is in Winnipeg, the bald prairies. He says he often comes across people that are afraid of trying bouldering as they are afraid of -falling. ( there are very thick mats to break your fall, and your first time there, teaching you how to fall is the first lesson. Good to know) .

As Kori looks at falling, he says it’s something you should do often. He was saying on the 204rise podcast. It’s a form of failing and there is nothing wrong with that, it shows you’re willing to try new things, put yourself a bit out of your comfort zone. The more you do it in life in general the more you can just shake off a “fall” and try to achieve your goal a bit of a different way, or a whole lot different. It’s not recalling about falling or failing, it’s about learning and resilience. We all need to go out on a limb a bit more, feel a little uncomfortable at times and seek to enjoy life even more. What’s important is getting back up and learning and trying again. Next goal, problem to solve, adventure to have…..you can do it. It’s probably not near as scary as you think.

Posted on

Yvette, had a bear follow her to school one day

I think that trumps a lamb.

When I lived in Squamish, we used to live on a dead end street, 2nd house from the end. Past that was wilderness.

We lived in a Spanish style house with stucco finish. One morning while getting ready for high school my Mom called us into her bedroom. A bear was scratching it’s back against our house. Mom’s bedroom window wasn’t far from the ground. Us three girls watched for a while until the bear walked off, then we continued getting ready for school. I was first to leave as I had the furthest to walk, my sisters were still in elementary school. Part of my route was also down a ravine.

Off I left for school.

When I came home that day, my Mom said how they watched me leave and then right behind me, the bear who had had a nap in our carport, followed along behind me.

I’m glad I wasn’t aware of this until I got home that day. 🙂

The poor bear was reported by others, and was used as target practise at a local park, left to decompose not a pretty sight.

I left Squamish years ago now, and that wilderness is no longer wilderness, that’s a pity.

Posted on

Alone, lonely?

Just started watching a movie, a young single person in New York, getting a bowl of soup at a restaurant, and then feeling a bit uncomfortable, and asking them to package it up to go. Being single, and not necessarily young, this had me reflect. Does she feel more alone, eating in a restaurant by herself than she will when she goes home to her empty apartment?

I’ve been living on my own for over 10 years ( for a brief time there was someone else but that is another very long story). In general I am very comfortable living on my own. I am very comfortable with myself for company, yes, on occasion I may answer a question I have, lol, but not often. The truth is we all have a pretty continual inner dialogue, often very hard to turn off, and I just hope that most people are kinder on themselves than they probably are. We do often seem to be more critical of ourselves than others.

Back to the soup. I also love to cook, I actually have in the past read recipe books, and I still enjoy searching the web for recipes. Finding ones that use combinations of ingredients differently than I would expect but that sound intriguing enough that I want to try this new adventure in taste and smell. Sometimes it may all be about the visual senses as well, a pretty swirly bread with Chocolate and hazelnuts, how can you go wrong with that? I love travelling, always an adventure and learning opportunity. Taken out of your normal, meeting strangers, exploring a new city, town, village, nature, tasting different foods, spices invigorating. When my children were young and if we were in the city I liked to take them to Superstore, and more specifically the ethnic aisle. We could travel down the aisle, check out foods we had never come across before and take some home and try them. Some we maybe only bought once, but always they were an adventure and a way of expanding our universe.

Why do I like to cook? A good part I imagine is that it is comforting, making something for yourself, and others that isn’t just about fuelling your body but about actually enjoying the experience. Not just eating because you have to but because it is such a sensual experience, the flavours, the texture, the scent, how you might actually physically have to approach it. It is great if you can share the experience with someone, which is why I love cooking up a storm for special occasions. A celebration just isn’t a celebration if there isn’t great food to go with it. Do I need great food to enjoy a concert or a play, no, but it certainly rounds out the evening.

Someone once told me they admired that I would go to an event on my own, take myself out for supper or to a movie, didn’t that feel strange? From my point of view, why would I not go or do something just because I didn’t have someone to go with? We are responsible for our own happiness, and if all that means is getting up off the couch and doing what brings you joy, that sounds pretty easy, vs sitting at home and wishing you had gone. There is so much living to do. I had a relationship once where I would ask him if he would like to go someplace and the answer was “Maybe” he would never commit and it always got too close to the time to make a decision that in the end we wouldn’t go. I smartened up and instead started letting him know that I was going incase he was interested in coming along, if he wasn’t fine, I wasn’t going to miss out on something I was going to enjoy. I did marry that fellow for quite a while, I also remember one evening asking if he’d like a some ice-cream or something like that as we were watching a movie, he replied, “No”. I went about getting myself some ice-cream and when I came back he looked at me and said, he thought he had told me he didn’t want any? “Yes, you did” I replied “but this is for me” . To which he was surprised that I would get some for myself when he didn’t want any? I stayed married to him for much too long, but I did get three wonderful children out of it. Actually for many years at the end of that relationship I felt more alone when he was there than when he was gone. So really living on my own is wonderful.

Yes, it might be nice for someone to ask how your day was, or to make sure you got home safely, or if you are feeling ill that they might make you chicken soup. Someday I may find someone to share my life with who appreciates me for me, who is comfortable with who he is and is an equal partner.

But right now, I can decide that I want to make a certain type of soup, or that I want to experiment with it, and I don’t have to be concerned at all whether someone else might like it. I don’t have to compromise, or not be true to myself, I can go where I please and do as I wish. It’s a darn fine life and I’m a very lucky person to be living it as fully as I can.

Posted on

Seeing from someone else’s perspective

Today I had the honour of discussing my exhibit “Celebrate Canada” with our local Life Skills class. I wondered what I might learn from them?

I really enjoyed seeing through my children’s eyes, because of their unique innocent ways of looking at the world. I recall my daughter asking while stopped for a train, what the train was called, I replied “a freight train”. She looked at me quizzically and replied “Why, are people afraid of it?”. Sometimes it gives you a whole new way of looking at something and you can have your own awe-ha moment or chuckle. Those in a “Life Skills” class have a very diverse set of abilities and experiences, and are often in a never ending childhood, some more so than others. I was excited as to what new meaning of life I might witness, be a part of.

They behaved very well, their assistants were wonderful. Everyone taking the time to connect, or try to connect with the one they were with. Of my 150 paintings I learned of some of their favorites, Superman, the Stanley Cup, I didn’t catch the others but they all had their photo taken with their favorite image. Their teacher had made a sheet for them to find certain images, a bird, farm pictures, and other topics, which they pretty much all completed.

Their teacher now is a “retired” teacher, who has never really “retired” on call whenever the school division needs her it seems. Since her retirement when called back she has been in positions she would have never expected, I’m sure this was one of them. She feels she is out of her comfort zone/league but she is enjoying it and learning all the time, thankful for her dedicated Education Assistants, who know the students well.

Having now been a school trustee for 21 years, I am often pleasantly surprised at what can be taught to people whom others in the past may have deemed unteachable or limited. I never should be, for in truth learning is usually about desire or finding the right teacher or teaching method that is right for the student. Even us old dogs can be taught new tricks, and I certainly believe in life long learning.

But remember how excited you were when your child spoke their first words, or took their first steps? In a “Life Skills” class, some things we might take for granted can be HUGE learning and life altering skill for another. I remember a past School Trustee who has an autistic son, being told her son would never speak, never do this, never do that. He did manage to do some of those things they were told he never would, and those moments are amazing. Life skills like, learning whether it is safe to answer a door, asking yourself is the person on the other side of the door a friend or a stranger, if a stranger did you invite them, like a pizza delivery man? Can you communicate, what is needed so that you can. Every step that we can bring a person closer to be independent is allowing them so much more freedom. Freedom to choose, to become the best person they can be.

That’s truly a goal for all of us to have the freedom to choose, to be responsible for our choices and to become the best person we can be.

Listen and seek to understand, and if we are exposed to a new way of looking at things pause and learn from it. Most things in this world are not black and white, there are many shades of grey and ew need to embrace them.

Posted on

Connecting

I’ve been listening to podcasts lately, Seth Godin for one, he talks about how we are in the age of connecting. Interesting. Yes, we are very connected via our cell phones, the internet, leaps and bounds than we use to be, especially to complete strangers if we want to be. At the same time, these same devices make some of us less connected, like when you answer a cell phone call, text while on a date or at a family dinner. Who has seen teenagers all sitting together, involved with their cell phones but not communicating with the very people they are sitting with? Yet, as I write this I realize a complete stranger may be reading my thoughts on this blog. Such interesting times we live in.

The other evening, I was invited to supper at a friends home. His wife, is also part of a ladies dinner club I started many years ago now. He jessed how he wasn’t invited, and then commented that he realizes how time women spend together is a special bonding time that if a male was present we may not feel as at ease to talk as we normally would. “True,” I replied that there were few couples I had come across, where I personally felt as comfortable talking to either as I did to both. Even those, would the conversation change because the other was there? Probably as though it might in any conversation circle, conversations often change to adapt to whom is listening and participating, and yes, some topics may be dropped or not brought up because a certain person joined the circle.

More importantly though I commented is that very few men have circles of friends that would talk and count on each other as the ladies in our dinner group do. Recently when I hurt myself, playing a sport I love, and with no family in town, I just needed to make a few phone calls, texts and they were there. Arranging a wheelchair, etc. Wonderful friends. It is great to have friends that care about you. While men, as this husband said historically being brought up to be the provider, defender, not to show emotions or admit weaknesses don’t tend to share their feelings especially with other men. Which had me wonder what are males suicide rates compared to women? We asked Google. Two thirds of suicide are males. Wow!

Here’s hoping the younger generation opens up more about how their lives are going with friends, that they share laughs, and that they all have someone they feel will be there for them when they need someone. It’s never to late for the older generations to start that as well. Maybe that would solve the supposed “Grumpy Man” syndrome as well. 🙂