My daughter called yesterday. She was suppose to be running off to a baby shower soon, and remembered she was suppose to bring advice for the new mother. She called me, ( I think this is the 2nd shower she has called me for this, being as she is not a mother yet). “Mom, remember when you said that, tears must help us heal? That maybe we should eat or drink them?”
“Honestly, no, I don’t remember saying that, but it does sound rather interesting”, I said to her, “and yes, I can imagine me saying something like that.” Probably after one of them (my children) had had a good cry. I often felt while I had young children how fortunate it was to relive childhood through their eyes, especially the wonder and curiosity, for an adult it’s like looking through fresh eyes, seeing again. I can imagine me, wondering at the time, just “Why” do we cry? Our bodies are so miraculous, healing cuts and bruises by themselves, our bodies regenerating the cells in our bodies every 7 years, that we can create new life, such a complicated being, all without effort. So why do we cry? What purpose are tears?
We cry when we are hurt badly, when we are very sad, sometimes when we are very happy, sometimes when we are relieved after being scared, afraid, worried and that has proved not necessary, the being afraid, worried or scared. Definitely tears express emotion, and they definitely are a release, a release of salty water. Salty water is something we might gargle with to help heal a sore throat. Salt draws things out, absorbs moisture. Does it absorb toxins, germs,…. bad feelings?
I remember when I was going to my sister’s funeral, my first funeral. My sister died at 17, quickly, and we were all very unprepared for that. Walking in for the funeral my mother said to me poke me if I start to cry. Poke me if I start to cry…. how sad, not to allow yourself to cry at your own child’s funeral, how ingrained that to cry is a weakness that you should not show. Probably the most heart wrench thing to experience to have your child die. To cry, to have an avenue for release of all those emotions we were all feeling, that would have helped I’m sure in the healing process.
I am certainly not much of a cryer, but I think, that it is a letting go, at least when it is a sad or hurtful thing you are experiencing.
I remember watching my daughter at gymnastics and I had her two brothers there as well, they were playing on the sidelines with some other children. My youngest got hurt, (not badly), fell I think, and came running back to me on the bleachers crying. I listened while he told me what happened and showed me where it hurt, I kissed his “booboo” better and the tears stopped and off he went again to play some more. Another mother of an only child looked at me like I was a miracle Mom, how did you do that? Do what I asked? Get him to stop crying? I just listened, and acknowledged his pain, he just needed to know someone cared and was there for him, not a biggy. Children stumble and fall all the time, I suppose we all do in a way throughout life, and sometimes that is all we need someone to listen and care.
Are tears magic? Maybe, I still don’t know the answer. We do sometimes cry when we are overcome with joy, surely we wouldn’t want to release that emotion? Maybe that’s the answer, maybe with ‘too much’ joy we need a release valve too?
I know when I am feeling down, I do my best to visualize a moment of ‘joy’ in my life, to see it, to feel it, to re-create that moment, and I can feel the corners of my mouth turn up and that warm fuzzy feeling starting to come back and push that sadness away. I hope we all have a moment, actually many moments we can remember experiencing “joy” such a wonderful emotion. Children, definitely bring us many gifts, and “joy” is one of them.
Absolutely nothing wrong with tears, nor do they show weakness or strength, they show emotion, they’re a human trait
Tears, still a wonder…are they magical. Is there more to them than meets the eye?
YVETTE CUTHBERT, Artist 